So It Has Come to This

I never considered myself a veteran in otome nor any otaku matter. In fact I always find myself only ankle deep in any fandom, and maybe knee deep in some very special fandoms. Such, even in otome and situation CDs there are some that I still steer clear from, on the grounds that I think it’s ridiculous, I find it in poor taste, I thought I don’t need it, or I’d rather use my time to listen to something else.

But I never thought that the CDs that I downloaded because I’m a paranoid cyber pack rat would come in handy at times like this.

Well, real life hasn’t been kind. In fact, it has been unkind. In fact, it has been an incredibly evil, ruthless, unforgiving and relentless torturous son of a gun. But that’s life. We do what we can, we get back up, learn from it and don’t do it again.

To put it simply I’m broke. Jobless, and pretty much broke. I just got my phone bill and I got a $50 overcharge for going over my minutes, which never happened before because I barely use my phone. It’s the 24th which means in 7 days I have to pay rent. Not to mention dental bill.

I mean there are times when you don’t want to put it to words even if you know it because you think that if you say it it will come true? Do you know that awkward moment when you realize it’s the truth anyway and you don’t want to say it because you’re in denial? That moment when even when you do your favorite things, you can’t distract yourself or run away from it?

Well I’m in that moment. And DAMN it’s not pleasant.

You know what’s worse than being broke? Being broke and alone. I miss a time when I can crawl into someone’s lap and just be comforted by the warmth while sorting everything in my head about what needs to be done.

Then I remember the CD I got from a certain forum:


Honey Bee CD Collection – Heart Aid Plus.
The two seiyuu that did this CD are Kamiya Hiroshi and Namikawa Daisuke.

So here I am, listening to a recording of a guy giving empty words targeted towards no one in particular in order to create an illusion for the listener that someone cares. The strangest thing is, it’s kind of working. GEEEEZ Stop it Kamiya, I’ll fall in love ♥(ノ´∀`)

By the way, this is how I look like right now

But seriously, this CD is super dangerous.

Like the name implies, Heart Aid Plus is a CD full of words of encouragement and support for when you’re feeling down and out. I don’t know what kind of research they did but WOW this are all the words you need to hear at just that moment. When I first heard this CD I didn’t think anything about it. In fact I thought it was kind of ridiculous.

But when you hear it when you’re vulnerable and sad and tired like me, it’s comforting to hear words that somehow gives you hope and the feeling of being loved. I’m really done in. I mean if someone really say this to me when I’m feeling down like this I might seriously fall in love. (。-_-。 )人( 。-_-。)

It’s all really short snippets of 2-5 minutes, and it’s targeted towards a particular situation you feel yourself in.

There are 34 tracks in total. 2 – 11 is done by HiroC while 12 – 22 is done by NamiDai. 1 and 23 – 34 is done by both.

  1. Before you listen to Heart Aid
  2. 何もかもがうまくいかない時
    When everything is not going well
    <- I listened to this one.
  3. 努力を認めてもらえない時
    When people are not acknowledging your effort
  4. 自分のやりたい事が出来ていない時
    When you can’t do the things you want to do
  5. 忙しくて自分の時間がない時
    When you’re so busy you can’t find time for yourself
  6. 疲れがたまっている時
    When your stress and fatigue piles up
  7. 不意打ちのシャワーで濡れた時
    When you got soaked by the shower (You know, those times when you want to fill in the bath tub and it was set to shower by mistake and you got soaked in your clothes. Yeah, it happens)
  8. 寝すぎて寝れない時
    When you slept too much and can’t sleep at night
  9. イベントのチケットが外れた時
    When you can’t get the ticket for the event you want (This one is hilarious)
  10. 会社を辞めたくなった時
    When you’re not doing well at work and want to quit
  11. 仕事を頑張れた時
    When you’re doing well at work and overcame your hurdles (This is kind of the epilogue)
  12. 集団の中にいても寂しいと感じる時
    When you feel lonely in your circle of friends
  13. 身近な人を大切にできていない時
    When you can’t cherish the people around you (sorry, not quite sure with the translation)
  14. 心がすさんで優しい気持ちになれない時
    When you hate yourself because you can’t control your emotion
  15. 疲れすぎて眠れない時
    When you’re so tired you can’t sleep
  16. 無駄にイライラしてしまう時
    When you’re irritated for reasons you don’t know
  17. 欲しかったお菓子が売り切れた時
    When they’re sold out of the sweets that you wanted
  18. 限定品が目の前で売り切れた時
    When a limited edition item got sold out in front of your eyes
  19. 線香花火をつけた瞬間落ちてしまった時
    When the small sparkler firework dies off
  20. 筋肉痛が明後日に来た時
    When you got muscle pain from two days ago
  21. 仕事が上手くいかない時
    When your work is not going well
  22. 勉強を頑張れた時
    When you did your best studying
  23. 彼氏ができない時
    When you can’t get a boyfriend (LOLOLOLOLOL (*≧▽≦)ノシ)))
  24. 友達にドタキャンされた時
    When your friend cancelled at the last minute
  25. 中々人と打ち解けられない時
    When you can’t get familiar with other people (You can’t make friends)
  26. 受験や就活に疲れた時
    When you’re tired from exam and job hunting (HNGGH I FEEL THE PAIN)
  27. 疲れていて上手く笑えない時
    When you’re tired you can’t smile from the heart
  28. 他人と自分を比べてしまう時
    When you can’t help but comparing yourself with other people
  29. やる気が空回りしてしまっている時
    When you can’t get motivated even if you’re so busy
  30.  雨なのに傘を持っていない時
    When it’s raining and you didn’t bring an umbrella
  31. 一日を無駄にしてしまった時
    When you wasted your holiday doing nothing productive
  32. 目標に向かって頑張れた時
    When you fulfilled your target
    I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but when something good happens to you and you have nobody to say to you, ‘Hey great job! You did well’ it’s kind of sad (´・ω・`)
  33. 自分を大切にできた時
    When you cherished yourself
  34. ハートエイドプラスを服用した後に
    After you listen to Heart Aid

Phew. Well, at least writing this post has took some burden off my mind. I just need to buy ice cream and chocolate tomorrow.

Kamiya-san, pat my head too (* >ω<) 頭なでてなでて。。。



  1. I can’t find it anywhere, can you link me where you found it? Thanks

    1. I got it from the Hibiki forum. If you’re a member you can download it from this link.

      Scroll down the post for the download link.

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